Fly'n my new colour, Karapoti Brown

...o^'0 The Karapoti Classic: 4hrs 2min

...o^'0 The Map & Details: 50km; 2800m

...o^'0 The Results: 407/865 finishers; 394/800 all men; 117/238 my category

...o^'0 The Photographers: I'm thinking of buying but not sure just yet.

...o^'0 The Technicals: Five flats: 3 tubes, 2 patches and a hole in the tire patched as well...

...o^'0 The story:


First a big thanks to the Slovak's for putting me up and entertaining me the night before.

The pictures here of the mud don't tell the whole story. Most of it was washed away w/ the final river crossing, have a look at the first image from the photographer above.

This is "the" talked about mountain bike race in New Zealand. So of course I had to do it. I signed up months ago and thought that was plenty of time to get out and pre-ride the course... The one time I tried w/ my mate Brett. I made it over the warm up climb (see map) and ended up catching a branch in my wheel tearing off the hanger, breaking the rear derailleur in two and tweaking the wheel. :( Hooray I got a 14km walk-a-bike back to the car park.
Thanks to Singlephile and On yer Bike for parts and help getting the rig ready to ride the Alpine Epic the following week. I then thought I'd get out for one big ride after the AE but thought better not to go out and risk breaking my bike or me with less than a week to go time. All of you know something bad would have happened...

It was raining when I arrived and continued through half of the race. I'm kind of a warm weather man myself. I don't so much mind a bit of weather when I'm already out but have the hardest time pushing my ass out the door when it's windy, raining, snowing or the occasional hail. I'd be ly'n if I didn't admit almost going back to bed that dreary Saturday morning.

This race is broken down into sections: Warm-Up, Deadwood, Rock Garden, Devils Staircase, Big Ring Blvd. and Dopers.
My category, Men 30-39, was the third group to start. I made my way to the front knowing full well that I was going to be passed by everyone behind me. I saw my friend Josh also ready with both feet and bike in the river waiting for the start. I was gonna keep my feet dry for as long as possible; that was pointless, what would another minute on top of the 4+ hours of river, rain, puddles and thick mud hurt? Ok Ok I'm a pu...

The horn goes off and I'm on the other side of the river. I was feeling pretty damn good this day and I had been doing some training so I kicked in race pace. Bryon, do you remember what the feel like? ;) OK I'll stop taking he piss out of ya, maybe.

By the top of the warm up climb I was pretty sure I was in the top 30 or so of my class. Heading down I'm paranoid as all get out watching for sticks and twigs! Clear and smooth except for the punter skidding all over the place in the scree. A loud, on your left, an bang zoom another person in my class eats my dust err mud.
OK so this is where bobby is riding blind. I've not been on any part of the rest of the course. I keep telling myself, pace yourself and all is good. I was supposed to be doing something else too.... O ya eat and have a gu! Am I nutz or does this power food taste awesome? My climbing strength is pretty good so I was passing a few more people but I did have to hike a bike a few times because I'm weak and of course the guy or gal I'm following decide they can't ride any more and stop in the middle of the only rideable line, GOSH! All the time I'm singing to my self "Just keep spinning, just keep spinning" as I make it to the top of the steep bit. Here I'm glad I got a tid bit of information bit from the guy that bought my Fetish carbon stem ($30 kiwi, what a steal). He told me to save some energy for the "rollers" at the top of both Deadwood and Devils Staircase. O man and am I glad I did. These rollers went on for days! In any case that part of my life is over and I'm excited to see what the Rock Garden has to offer. errrr brakes. What a big as que. Many people off walking their bikes some riding past screaming out, my line was "Coming in HOT!" I'll describe the rock garden as a steep tree covered trench from 1-2 meters wide with various loose rocks from the size of a pebble to that of a beach ball. Lest I forget to mention a couple drops well over a meter. There was no way of riding some of the more technical portions because of the clutter of people and bikes. At one point I found a window, was on and clipped in to indo just after cuz I glanced down at my foot and missed turning for a boulder... No thing but a chicken wing. I wasn't hurt, bike was good and the guy right behind was at least 3 seconds away.

I'm blanking how the garden ended and devils staircase began but I think it was a stream crossing into some mud then the grueling 3km hike a bike, most of the time it was on my back. I remember asking how much further at some point that seemed to be along way into the climb and the reply was "we're about a 1/4 the way up" WTF OMG. There wasn't much room to make up ground since it was a single file que all the way up. There's a pretty good pick of me on this section from the photographers. I was still steam'n along when we made it to the top. I was expecting the rollers and smashed them out. During this portion I yelled out "I thought this was supposed to be Big Ring Blvd," to which the reply was "you'll know when it starts." I did and this is where my fantastic ride started to turn to shit. With the big ring turned on and suspension open I was bombing again passing at least 10 people when all of a sudden I start to get a bit squidy on a corner. Look down and the rear goes flat. Dam I say and poll over, quickly pull out the co2, tube and change what should have been a fast exchange but I was frozen up by the co2. I've never used on in the rain and it turns out that when the co2 comes out it's pretty cold and welds my glove finger tips to the nozel. F&*k comes out as I rip my gloves and slowly get the unit off and the wheel back on. Only 4-5 people had passed me so I was pretty hyped and thought to myself, "that wasn't so bad, you're gonna rock this course." Awe well not 3 minutes later another flat. I told my bike, "you have to be kidding me" but instead of filling back up w/ air the tire shrunk under my evil glare }8| Thankfully I brought 2 tubes and 2 co2's. Another quick change, this time spitting on the nozzle to bring the temp up a bit before grabbing on. Woo hoo OK Rob now take it a bit slower, you don't have any more tubes... So I did and then it did it again. NO F'n way! I pull over and the presta screw, whatever was gone along w/ all the air. My shoulders sag and I bust out the quick patch kit, you know, the kind that are like stickers and don't function in the wet! F THE BIKE GODS I LOATH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It had stopped raining but I was soaked and I had nothing to dry the tube so I wiped the best I could and stood there blowing on the tube as I watch ride after ride pass me. :(
Eureka stick'm was on and I was pumping away. More riders go by, more questions "Are you OK?" I was getting pretty sick of saying "ya sure." With the wind lost to my sails I took it much slower than I would have normally just to be sure that I wouldn't puncture again. 30 minutes later I'm feeling pretty good again and am hammering the Dopers climb. Only one short section that I had to walk. My heart and legs are pumping and the world is good until I stop feeling the rocks under my rear wheel. I closed my eyes, looked up and prayed that the gods were just playing with my head. Looking the other way they weren't. Not only was the wind gone but the water had also drained form the ocean around my little vessel. Everyone I had just passed riding up the hill were now making their way bye. I started asking everyone for a normal patch kit. One guys stopped to lend me one then another guy stopped and offered me a tube. He said it's a shradder and I said that will do just fine. He hands it to me and the patch guy takes off too. Hmm anyone know the problem? WTF am I thinking, a shrader, I've not had a shrader wheel for years! Ug! O well, I'll do what I can to fix one of my three tubes. I tried pumping all three and none would give me enough pressure to find the hole. What have I done to anger you so? So this princess named Michelle Duffy rocked up and offered me her tube. Michelle, if you're out there and see this post I have a tube and a beer/coffee waiting for your hands.

At this point I had lost so much time I had a proper sit down and decided to have a look at the tire. After turning the tire inside out and having a close inspection I found that something had made a 2cm gash and could have been the culprit. I let the tire dry and used two of my patches to cover the rough rubber. Some more pumping and I was climbing once again. I wasn't going to let this damn race get the better of me so I decide to power on and stay in the saddle pushing my ass off. As I passed Michelle hiking I said "you are a life saver" and she asked how I was doing. I said shit and she said "at least your still riding..." trudat! I had the rest of Dopers for lunch and I was off to the races for the final downhill and out. I kept the hammer down and played leap frog with some guy a few times but he finally gave up. I had no idea how much time I had been out but I WAS determined to still come in under 4 hours. In front of me was the final river crossing, the same we started crossing so I rocked up to the edge jumped off and instantly cramped and started getting swept down river. I've never had that feeling before but I was kinda scared because the pain was so bad and I couldn't move easily yet I knew I had to move because I may just drown. Well probably not w/ so many people around but I still didn't to be rescued... Ah well I powered through gritting my teeth and finished. I thought I heard 3:48 when I pulled in and told my mates that is what I got until I went and looked at the results :( 4:02 BS o well, I bucked up and told them. They all beat my time. Ahh well good job anyway guys.
We had some lunch, a couple beers then hung for a bit of the awards.
I think that's enough words for now, don't you.